Heat Take Game One in Dramatic Fashion

By Jacob Allen
Wow. The Miami Heat just put on a show. Tonight I was a witness.  4th quarter domination is becoming the norm in South Beach. With the score tied the Heat went on a can't stop me, can't score on me, alley oopin dunk party to blow open and close out what seemed like a tight game (Q1-Q3)   in the same dominant fashion we've seen all throughout the playoffs.  These guys, simply stated, are the best players in the world.  Unimaginably good.  I can't see the Mavs even beginning to stop them.  If they somehow win a game or two, and I mean if, then its going to be because the Heat released the stranglehold, and just felt like closing the series out at home.

3's Muh Muh Make Me Happy

Dirk looked confused.  Kidd looked afraid.  Deshawn Stevenson was wagging around three fingers looking like Simple Jack every time he hit a three...his signature move...but thats about all he did.  Listen guy...we get it.  If your feet are behind the line it's an extra point.  We also get that you are the best wagger alive.  Seriously Deshawn how many times does LBJ have to put the hurt on you before you get the point that hes a king and your'e just a court jester?  Do we need to call Jay again?  Miami slowed the Mav's "potent" offense down, and they did it quite easily.  If there was any doubt about how good this group is at closing games, those doubts have been put to rest...permanently.  They close...and they close with Gucci style.  The Heat are going to win the chip...ushering in a "you better form your own SUPERTEAM or youre going to lose to us every single year" mentality that will change NBA hoopin for good.  Long live the King.

BEERS WIN! BEERS WIN!

by Matt Netzel
Top of the 7th and we're up 2. We need 2 outs, bases loaded. I'm out in left having a panic attack. One run in. FUCK! Look who's up next. Their 4 batter/Short stop. Easily best kid on the team. I KNOW we're losing this game for sure. I'm not too intense about losing. I'm not gonna go home and scream at my girlfriend or hit my dog, but at the same time that shit gets old. 4 batter strikes out swinging! I couldn't believe it. We were ecstatic! This team needed this win more than anyone knows. I mean when else are we gonna get to use our jump 5*?

I don't know what it was tonight. Was it my sliding catch to end the inning? Ridenour's strikeouts (including the game winner)? Tim, Jon, Lesnau, and Ed's clutch hitting at the bottom of the order? Mark's 2-run homer? Wild Steve jumping out of his shoes at short? George and Tadziu's heads-up base running scoring key runs? No. It was a team effort. We never lost our composure in the biggest of moments. Now I know what you're thinking; "what is it their first win?" And the answer is yes. It is. In over 2 years at least. It was bound to happen sooner or later, and with a capacity crowd on hand (like 6 for us and 4 for the other team), we put on a show.
There was our normal errors and dumb plays, (who swings on a 2-0 pitch? Me, that's who. Hey, bro I came here to swing), but we kept our heads in it, 'kept the D hard', and pulled down the W.

* Jump 5 - imagine the Michael Jordan Nike symbol. Now imagine two of those high five-ing. Feels fantastic!  (See Image)

NBA Finals: Turn Up the Heat

by Jacob Allen

Watching the introduction of the starting lineups.....it must be downright terrifying to be a Dallas Mav or a Mav fan right now. Maybe I'm jumping on a bandwagon, but maybe I'm just giving myself a reason to watch the NBA.  So put your seat belts on...here comes the NBA Finals.

Daaattsiiiiit!

"I take care of my ass pussy"

"That Didn't Even Have To Happen.....Bitch!!!"

By Jacob Allen

...screams the crazy lady swinging a lawn chair at what looks like her mans ride.  He surely deserved it.

This lady, Latonya Dawson of Detroit, specifically states at the end of her chairs gone wild rage fest (4:51), "That didn't even have to happen...bitch".  Exactly.  Elin Woods doesn't have a damn thing on you.  Thank you crazy lady for cementing my opinion in general.  Thank you for losing it in front of a camera AND the cops...essentially telling me and the world that making sure "He don't do that again" is more important to you than a) legal trouble b) public humiliation and c) maintaining your equilibrium .  Did going Sybil on those windows have to happen?  Absolutely not.  Did it happen?  You bet it did.  Any female member of the crazy club that can find 1% rational behind this I demand an explanation.  Does it make you feel better or something?

Now if you are a dude, or around these parts a BRO (which we can assume most readers of this blog are), and you have ever had a girlfriend, wife, or significant other (again, I will assume you have)...then a certain element of this post is going to hit home. So the question I'm asking here is not IF women, in general, cross the crazy line. They do.  It's universally a given.  Don't believe me...women?   Find the nearest bro and ask him if he's ever been in a situation where his girlfriend went a little "crazy". The chuckle/giggle of an answer you just got means, "Trust me, you don't even want to know".  No the question is not IF, the question is WHAT...and specifically WHAT qualifies as going TOO far?

Is smashing a Caddy in the middle of Jefferson Ave. going too far?  As a human being instinct tells me to answer yes...but the depressing reality is that I have personally experienced worse. It blows the mind how many times I have watched my woman fly off the handle at my expense. Some worse than others...depending on how crazy the specific female is that I was dealing with at the time, but just because some were "worse" in no way implies that the others were "better". They are all bad...just some less worse than others. I mean just imagine if you saw some dude...in downtown Detroit...smashing his boo's ride with a beach chair. That video would be virally unparalleled. 3,000,000 + hits on YouTube within a week.  In a month and a half this video only has a shade over 100,000 hits because somewhere along the line it became socially OK for a girl to go completely bat shit crazy when she has her feelings hurt.  How is this fair?

Lets open this one up to the readers, but before I go I want to quiz any girl who is reading this.

"So let me get this straight.  You grabbed my cell phone while I was napping?  I wont even question if that is acceptable or not...because apparently it is.  So you sent a text message to my ex girlfriend not 1, but 2 girls before you in which you unjustly called her a bitch/skank for absolutely no reason?  When she responds aggressively...you wonder why and somehow this equates to me being a huge asshole and you trying to smoke me in the jaw?  All this before I wake up from the nap?"

Q:  What's up with that?

I would be very interested in hearing about your personal stories and experiences. Comments encouraged.

Walmart Wolverines

Things I'm Bringing Back Pt. 2

By Jacob Allen
Not as if there is any chance of getting caught without mentioning this, but the original "Things I'm Bringing Back" post was not mine. Getting that off of my chest does not feel as rewarding as I thought it would.

Credit Here Goes to WildSteve

Top 10 things I'm Going To Bring Back:


10:  Things I'm Bringing Back
9:  Jncos/Pipes
8:  The Bowl Cut
7:  Altavista
6:  Bleeping
5:  Airwalks
4:  AOL
3:  Umbros
2:  The Hamster Dance
1:  Pogs

Tressel Resigns From Ohio State

COLUMBUS, Ohio - Monday morning was not much of a holiday for national football media as news came out that Jim Tressel resigned as head coach of The Ohio State University. Luke Fickell will serve as the head coach for 2011-12 and a new head permanent head coach will be in place for the 2012 season.

"In consultation with the senior leadership of the Board of Trustees, I have been actively reviewing matters attendant to our football program, and I have accepted Coach Tressel's resignation," said Ohio State President E. Gordon Gee. "The University's enduring public purposes and its tradition of excellence continue to guide our actions."

The Buckeyes are in the middle of a NCAA investigation that stemmed from the illegal trade of merchandise for discounted tattoos that resulted in several suspensions including a five game one for Tressel himself. The depth of the investigation has deepened with car sales getting a watchful eye from the NCAA as well.


Monday morning proved to be the end of the era when Tressel decided to call it a career with the Buckeyes.

Well, well, well. Look who has the dirtiest program in the nation. I'm actually surprised he stepped down this fast. This asshole is so fucking smug, I really thought he would take this to court. Really make a huge deal about it. Probably cry in front of the camera and blame the media. "Just don't take it out on the kids", he'd plead. But, no. He actually did what a real man would and accepted responsibility for his actions. Very uncharacteristic, Jim.

And excuse me, Thad Matta, is there anything you'd like to say before your entire athletic department is investigated? Any particular reason you've been getting the top players in the nation every year, and they only stay a year or two before they bounce for the pros? I believe I brought this to light back in mid February...hmmm. I digress. I just love watching this whole program implode.

Kuester Fired: Dont Let the Door Hit You....Chump

By Steve St-Pierre

In news that shouldn't surprise anyone, the Pistons have reportedly fired head coach John Kuester. With the franchise's sale to Tom Gores expected to become official this week, the team has decided to start the roster's rebuilding now.

With a lockout pending July 1, the Pistons have about a month to make as many moves as they can, the first of which being a coaching change. The team will also conduct its selection in the upcoming 2011 NBA Draft being held June 23. Reports have surfaced that Detroit could package its No. 8 first-round pick to the Cleveland Cavaliers, who would also absorb the contract of Rip Hamilton via a trade exception.

Kuester is already being linked to the L.A. Lakers, who could hire him as an assistant under newly-named head coach Mike Brown. The Pistons, meanwhile, are believed to be interested in both Mike Woodson and Bill Laimbeer. Woodson and Kuester both served as assistants in Detroit under Larry Brown during the 2003-04 season. Laimbeer has no NBA head coaching experience but has served as an assistant with the Minnesota Timberwolves the past two years after coaching Detroit's former WNBA franchise, the Shock.

Rip Hamilton Is Rumored To Be On His Way Out....Again?

by Jacob Allen 
This time It's apparently in a 3 team MEGA DRAFT DAY DEAL for the ages.  Wait...I'm confused.  Isn't Rip always on his way out of Detroit or involved in some sort of trade rumor.  Let me answer that one.  Yes, he is.  I am less confident that this trade will go through than I am confident it will....or any trade for rip will ever go though.  It really is a double edged sword because sure he gets paid too much and is on the decline, but has everybody forgotten him as a/the KEY and i mean KKEEEEEYYYY part of a team that won me....and i guess the rest of the city...an NBA championship?


All this hype around the Heat and all the glitz and glamor of the NBA finals....well that was us year after year and in 2004 we took that shit down.  Personally...I think Rip deserves what ever Rip wants.  He won me a title....and for that I am forever indebted to him.  Just like I am to Ben, just like I am to Tayshaun, and just like I would still be to Rasheed if he were still hoopin professionally.  Chauncey is a whole different story.  He was the glue and the lone superstar on that squad.  We owe him more than the others....but I still hold onto hope that ill see #1 suit up in red white and blue again.


Back to Rip.....Here are his top ten greatest playoff performances:

---

No. 10 -- Game 6 at Miami In The 2006Eastern Conference Finals
No. 9 -- Game 4 at Milwaukee In The 2004 Eastern Conference Playoffs 1st Round
No. 8 -- Game 5 Versus MIL In The 2006 Eastern Conference Playoffs 1st Round
No. 7 -- Game 2 Versus Orlando in The 2003 Eastern Conference Playoffs 1st Round
No. 6 -- Game 6 at Indiana In The 2005 Eastern Conference Semifinals
No. 5 -- Game 4 at Orlando In The 2008 Eastern Conference Semifinals
No. 4 -- Game 6 at San Antonio in The 2005 NBA Finals
No. 3 -- Game 6 Versus Indiana in The 2004 Eastern Conference Semifinals
No. 2 -- Game 3 Versus The L.A. Lakers In The 2004 NBA Finals
...and No. 1 -- Game 5 at Indiana In The 2004 Eastern Conference Finals

---

Rip, if you do get traded (or when you get traded) before you go...thank you. I speak on behalf of myself, my dtown bros, and the GREAT city of Detroit. You gave it your all for so many years. We wish you the best. We are all confident that you will stick your next gig like you stick your mid range J.

"DRIIVEEEE!!"

From CNNMoney
Charles Riley, On Thursday May 26, 2011, 4:04 pm EDT
More than one in five Americans -- some 36.9 million -- are not fit to drive and would fail a driving test if asked to take one today, according to a new survey of the nation's drivers.
Shocking as that may be, it's actually an improvement. Last year, 38 million received failing grades. Nationwide, the average score this year increased to 77.9% from 76.2% in 2010.
According to GMAC Insurance, which conducted the survey, the results mean that a great number of people on the road still lack basic driving knowledge, an ignorance that leads to dangerous driving habits. For example, a full 85% of those surveyed could not identify the correct action to take when approaching a steady yellow traffic light.
And only one in four knew safe following distances.

But, the survey suggests, you can avoid some of these drivers if you know what to look for: Young people, women and motorists who live in the Northeast.
Twenty-seven percent of women failed the test, while males had a failure rate of 13.6%. The oldest drivers tested -- ages 60 to 65 -- had the highest average test scores at 80.3%.
Drivers in the Northeast scored lowest, while respondents in the Midwest fared best. The worst place, no surprise to anyone who drives there, is Washington, D.C.

Really no surprises here are there? Just goes to show that the age-old saying "Female drivers:no survivors"should hold up in the court of law. Now, I could be extremely (adjective for discriminating that has escaped me at the moment) right now and break it down by which gender and ethnicity really needs some driving lessons, but thats not what The Coalition is all about. AND it's a holiday weekend so we should all play nice. Listen, I know no one's perfect on the road here (see MdotNetz's previous blog live from the driver's seat), even yours truly has a traffic violation or two on the record. But if I see one more asshole stop in the middle of a round-about intersection, I am just gonna snap!

Fantasy Football 2011: Detroit Lions

Will You Consider Drafting The Lions Defense?

Elway

By C-Bus

Somehow Elway -- the Denver Broncos vice president and Hall-of-Fame quarterback -- became aware of the Fort Collins, Colo., punk band "Elway", and decided he's just not cool with the group using his surname.

The Broncos legend’s lawyer has requested that the band change its name, but stopped short of suing or issuing a cease and desist order.

The band, to its credit, was mostly amused. In a statement released via punknews.org, the band acknowledged the letter and suggested Elway had better things to do in the wake of the Broncos' disastrous 2010 season.


"We have no intention of changing the name again. We love the name, regardless of what connotations are inferred by the listener. Surely, if the Dead Kennedys could become one of punk's most popular bands without incurring litigation, Elway can keep their moniker and continue making so-so music for our dozens of fans to enjoy."

Score a point for Elway -- the band, that is. And now the group has now received more press than it ever would have had Elway minded his own business. There have to be quite a few people perusing the band's MySpace site, rocking out to songs like "Wolf Shirt," which to be honest, isn't a bad little jam.

Yes, start demanding things of the kids in the punk band. If there is one thing these guys respond well to it's adults and jocks.

I'm a Bel-ieber.

by Matt Netzel

Not exactly this moment I'm not. But after seeing these pictures, I'm on my way. Look, dude is legitimately crushing Selena Gomez... regularly. It's only a matter of time until they split up, and when they do, Biebs  is gonna tear apart every 25-37 year old actress, model, and recording artist in North America. He's gonna go Timberlake on us and make bad ass panty moistening jams. I never really understood why women freak the fuck out over The Beatles, Elvis, Backstreet Boys, and Bieber. Then again they're women and I can't explain anything about them psychologically.

Being a 25 year old male on the verge of Bieber fever is unsettling. It's how I imagine typhoid fever to be. I'm beet red(with embarrassment), I vomited(in disgust at myself), I'm lethargic(mainly because I'm generally lazy), and I'm delirious(obviously, I'm blogging about Justin Bieber).



Right now he's a geeky Canadian brat who thinks he's God's gift to pre-pubescent girls. When I was 15 I thought I was the shit too. I was a scrawny wanksta, smokin cigs and bonging tall boy Mike's hards. I thought I was the shit cuz I got my pee pee touched. But by the time I hit 20 my swag went through the roof and life was my oyster. I think all men experience a coming of age transition similar to this. It's not being arrogant, it's just realizing you're not a little bitch brat anymore and that you're literally better than 85% of people on the planet. It's just science. Biebs is getting to this point. While I can say I won't respect any of his music for at least 3 years, I'm interested in seeing what he's got. Dude's gonna be a pussy monster.

Editor's Note: This blog was brought to you by blogging and driving. Thanks, Blogger app. A guy actually honked at me and pointed at the road while screaming "DRIVE!" Sweet suggestion bro, but I got an audience to cater to, and not enough time in a day.

Editor's Note times 2: This is the second blog about Justin Bieber on this website. That is 2 more than I want. I'll try to tone it down.

Chicago Sports Fan: Bi-Polar? I'm Bi-Winning, unless we're losing

By Cbus

I want to start this post for apologizing for the hate post below, but if there is one thing I hate more than the pro sports teams in Chicago, it's their miserable fans, and if I'm not hating, I'm not breathing.

In the four years I have lived in Chicago, aka infiltrated enemy territory, I've been surrounded by these mentally unstable cry babies. The Chicago fan is either in your face, overly confident or completely unable to contain their misery, "over" their team. Bulls win game 1 by 20 and it's a locked up guarantee sweep, lose game three on the road and the series is finished, Bulls suck. Can
someone explain to these morons what a 7 game series is, and what a home court advantage means? I understand the passion, winning a game by 20 will do that to you, but don't forget that was game 1 at home, let's have a little perspective. Also, can you show a little integrity? Don't give me this "well, Black Hawks weren't supposed to make the playoff's so we were lucky to make it this far." Hey dick hole, 1) you did make the playoff's so you belong there. 2) Your team just battled back from being down 3-0 in impressive fashion to force a game 7, why are you making ANY excuses? Be mad, be happy, I don't fucking care, just don't be a pussy. Had game 7 gone the other way no one would have heard the end of it so own your choice and live with the outcome. I'm watching this game 5 right now and can actually feel the collective mood of this city peak and plummet with every single basket, it must be fucking exhausting to be this emotionally unsettled. (I'm guessing a lot like being a woman)

Finally, please stop telling me to "move to Detroit" or taking pot shots at some of D-Towns more unsavory characteristics, it's petty, not funny, and 100% off topic. Sure Detroit is not experiencing the heights it once knew, but Chicago isn't exactly the moral compass you believe it to be. Point is, we don't care about your trials and tribulations, your squad is fucking weak, like the trash you talk. D Rose will get shut down, and when our QB has to exit the game he tosses one last tutty with a separated shoulder, probably could have used some of that toughness in that NFC game?

'South Park' Compares College Athletes to Slaves

by Waffles McButter courtesy of BroBible.com

I have always been for paying student athletes who participate in the highest grossing sports. Giving them a free education is swell and all but when your football or basketball team brings in enough money to fund every other sport at your university (and their talents are what is making you the money), shouldn't you throw the kids some cash to live and eat? And not just in the on-campus slum and slop house.
Trey Parker and Matt Stone apparently feel the same way, only they have an entire T.V. show to voice that opinion and they also chose to compare student athletes to the slave trade. Of course they did. A hilarious clip -- about student athletes being slaves -- from the latest "South Park" is below.

Day 1 of constructing my own 3 green 18 hole par 3 course in my parents front yard

My 350 Yard Drive Yesterday....By the Numbers

Hole # 10 and My ICBM

Jake "The One With the Long Snake" Woods

Brian Rafalski Retires: What This Means for the Detroit Red Wings

By Matthew Shepard on May 24, 2001

Brian Rafalski has confirmed the rumors and said he will retire with a year remaining in his contract. Detroit is still waiting for the return of their captain, Nicklas Lidstrom. For now, Detroit is down a man but now has $6 million extra in cap space. With a major hole to fill in defense, Jonathan Ericsson maybe able to stay with the Wings. For now, Detroit has Niklas Kronwall, Brad Stuart and Jakub Kindl. If Lindstrom returns, the Wings may be able to recover by picking up a defenseman from free agency; however, Rafalski was a key player on the blue line. Over the years Rafalski had many injuries, which may have impacted his decision to retire. He had back surgery last year and missed games
this year due to back spasms. Even with missing as many games as he did he was able to rack up 48 points. He knew how to set up plays and his presence will be missed. Rafalski will not only be missed in Detroit, but his presence on the international level will be missed as well. He helped restore American hockey by helping Team USA win two sliver medals in the Winter Olympics. He helped New Jersey win two Stanley Cups and Detroit win one. As the Wings struggle to find a replacement, there are some defenseman who could fill in. One big name that has been thrown around is Ed Jovanovski. He is a big hitter and can play. He knows how to score and stop shots. For the past two years, his Stanley Cup dreams have been stopped by Detroit, so why not join them instead of facing them? He maybe 35 years old, but having a veteran player is what the Wings need. There are many other big names coming to free agency, including Bryan McCabe and Roman Hamrlik, but the most potential defenseman is Joni Pitkanen. He is young and can esily get 30 to 40 points a season. If Detroit is looking for some experience they have options but a major sign (if Vancouver wins the Cup) is Sami Salo. He has experience and his two-way style of play can be deadly. He has a slap shot that finds its way in the back of the net and can easily stop power forwards from scoring. There is one thing that Salo can do to help Detroit if he is signed: power play and penalty kill. He has experience and the Wings' weakness was special teams. Salo can help fix that. Another big name that would help Detroit (if Boston does not re-sign him) is Tomas Kaberle. Kaberle was one of Toronto's key denfenseman and was traded for a first-round draft pick and a conditional second-round draft along with Joe Colborne. Boston gave up a lot for Kaberle but Detroit has lucked out before by trading for Todd Bertuzzi in the 2006-07 season from Florida. If Detroit is looking for a cheap gamble, Eric Brewer maybe the key. In recent years his numbers have been lacking. However, he knows how to play. He was captain of St. Louis and is currently on Tampa Bay. In the 22 games he has played for Tampa he has only racked up two points; however, Detroit seems to give players whose careers are over a second chance. Sometimes it pays off (Chris Osgood 2008-09) and sometimes it does not (Brad May 2009-10).If Detroit does take a gamble with Brewer, they maybe able to sign him cheap and pick up a forward who can help Detroit. Either way if Detroit is currently without a key defenseman. Rafalski will be missed no matter what the Wings do.

**Jersey Shore Update**

TMZ just broke that Ronnie and the Sitch got in a brawl out in Italy. I was pretty excited to see these guys in Italy as it was, but to see the Situation get beat up by Ronnie adds to the suspense. GOD this show is redic, and they get paid for doing nothing, AND I LOVE IT. These cats are out control, beating each other up, beating up girls, beating the beat up... Then get paid 50k to show up at a bar have a drink and bang the hottest girls in the bar. What am I doing wrong? I need to get famous ASAP.

Bros Page

Check out the finished "Bros" page and learn a bit about the coalition of bros we call the D Town Bro Co.

Rapture playlist

Note this is a live blog from Finnegans Wake in Pittsburgh, PA. GO TIGERS!  It's being posted way late because I'm hammered.

Dead or Alive - Bon Jovi
Dance Until the World Ends - Britney Spears
Final Countdown - Europe
When the World Ends - Dave Matthews Band
It's the End of the World as we Know it - R.E.M.
Rapture - Anita Baker
Santa Monica - Everclear
Stairway to Heaven - Led Zepplin
Highway to Hell - ACDC

Blake Griffin: A Season Defined

Macho Man Randy Savage Dead at 58

I'm sure many of you have heard by now; but if you're a little slow to the punch I feel its best I break the news to you. Macho Man Randy Savage died early this morning after having a heart attack behind the wheel and crashing into a tree. My man was one of the greatest wrestlers in WWF's history. He was crazy before being crazy was cool. I'm willing to bet the Macho Man Wrestling Buddy was one of the top selling toys in the late 80's/early 90's (first person who gives me a stat to prove this gets an outside the pants HJ).

The Flying Elbow Drop: one of my all time favorite finishers. They just don't make em like this anymore (until the debut of The Irish Creamer Steve Addington, that is). A good man, a wrestling legend, and the face of the Slim Jim franchise. Snap em if ya got em. R.I.P Macho Man

Things I'm Bringing Back

Since I'm cool enough to be trendy I decided to bring back a few words. I will start using "sinchy", "nards", and "rad" again. I mean if you really think about it, 2011 is a lot like 1994 except everything is less awkward and kids take more pharmaceuticals. Those are really the only differences to me. Got anything you'd like to bring back? Leave it in the comment section and maybe we'll jump on board. I wouldn't mind doing the "Tootsie Roll" out on the dance floor if someone needed some help bringing it back.

Vancouver's Bringing It! Tit Flash Diversion Tactic...It's Working!

2:00 Minors and Penalty Box First Timers

Thank You Pierced Nipple Girl

Vancouver is really making a push to become a top 5 hockey city. After this whole tit flash and green men thing, it got me thinking.

Vancouver was really only 1 gimmick away from being a legit hockey city. Well I showed you some tits, so humor me and read my take on the best hockey cities.




My top 10 Hockey Cities List:

1. Detroit- Obviously. Dynasty. Arguably the best franchise in the history of sports. No further explanation needed.

2. Montreal- Original 6 teams are gonna get it over any po-dunk-wanna-be when it comes to a true classic hockey city, so stick with me here.

3. Toronto- Hockey Hall of Fame lives here. Strip clubs and Labbat Blue out of the faucet; enough to make any hockey player moist.

4. Boston- BC an BU hockey programs give Bean town the slight edge over NYC.

5. New York- If only black people weren't afraid of water(albeit frozen) and the Islanders were relevant.

6. Chicago- I wish I could have Chi city higher in this list, but lets be honest; After Roenick and Ed Belfour left in the early 90s, hockey fell off. Nobody even gave a shit until like 3 years ago. Squeaking out a cup helps, but there is no youth league hockey presence in Illinois. Half the state thinks they are east coast snobs and the rest think they're southern hicks. Hardly a hockey atmosphere.

7. Vancouver- This playoff run is really up-ing their cred. Gimmicks, whore fans, and British Columbian dank head hockey bums(similar to a Cali beach bum) are forcing the media to cover this team night in and night out. If only any one on the team had an inkling of personality, the NHL would pimp them hard.

8. Minneapolis- The Golden Gophers storied hockey program and the slow development of the Wild into the franchise that the North Stars once were might save them from dropping out of the top 10.

9. Buffalo- They really have nothing else except hockey. America's armpit needs some type of recognition and they put their heart and soul into the Sabres. Too bad the ownership doesn't.

10. Tampa Bay- With Stevie Y taking the reigns, and basically warming up to be the Red Wings GM when Kenny Holland calls it quits, I could see some great things come from this team. Not far removed from a 2004 Stanley Cup victory, they are really appealing to anyone who moved down to Florida from an aforementioned great hockey city. They wouldn't be my #1 team by any means, but a viable option to follow and enjoy. Too bad they are in such a shitty market. Lets see how far Grandpa's pension checks and Social Security benefits can go in contributing to an NHL franchise's net worth.

Biggest Douche Award Goes To Leroy Fick

$2M Michigan lottery winner defends use of food stamps

Ron French, Detroit News staff writer

A Michigan man who won $2 million in a state lottery game continues to collect food stamps 11 months after striking it rich.

And there's nothing the state can do about it, at least for now.

Leroy Fick, 59, of Auburn won $2 million in the state lottery TV show "Make Me Rich!" last June. But the state's Department of Human Services determined he was still eligible for food stamps, Fick's attorney, John Wilson of Midland, said Tuesday.



Eligibility for food stamps is based on gross income and follows federal guidelines; lottery winnings are considered liquid assets and don't count as income. As long as Fick's gross income stays below the eligibility requirement for food stamps, he can receive them, even if he has a million dollars in the bank.

Food stamps are paid for through tax dollars and are meant to help support low-income families.

"If you're going to try to make me feel bad, you're not going to do it," Fick told WNEM-TV in Saginaw on Monday.

Wilson said Fick told the DHS officials he'd won $2 million but was told he could keep using the Bridge Card issued to him to buy groceries.

Fick could not be reached for comment Tuesday.

Al Kimichik, director of the office of inspector general for DHS, said the department could not comment on individual cases but that it this week began the process of requesting a waiver from the federal government to close the lottery loophole. If it is granted, assets would be counted in determining food stamp eligibility.

Though the food stamp program is federal and states must follow U.S. guidelines, states sometimes request waivers of rules. Michigan was granted a waiver recently to stop college students from qualifying for food stamps.

"For Leroy Fick to continue to use a Bridge Card, paid for by the taxpayers, after winning the lottery, is obscene," said Sen. Rick Jones, R-Grand Ledge. "What a waste of taxpayer money."

Jones contacted DHS officials Monday about Fick's case, and was told the department's hands were tied by federal regulations.

"There is no liquid asset requirement for getting food stamps," Jones said. "The department is asking the federal government for an immediate change (in policy). They're hoping this case will help the federal government act."

Until then, Fick can collect food stamps and keep his lottery winnings in the bank.

"I am not going to sit and debate the ethics of this," Wilson said. "But from his standpoint, he did what he was supposed to do -- he informed the state, and the state said he could keep using the card. The problem is with the state."

Wildcats goin HAM tonight

Wildcats Hockey, an organization accustomed to winning and glory, is facing dire times this season. We're 0-6 and getting edged in every game. We're a better team than our record states and last week I saw some fire spark in this team. We got physical as fuck and we played with some passion, and Dammit, that makes me proud. Tonight we face the best team in the league and if luck be a lady, she's gettin gang banged by some Wildcats tonight. And as the captain, I take it upon myself to say the losing road ends here. Meow my friends.....Meoww.

It's Game Time. Are You Ready?

Beers Softball

A few games into the season, I feel the need to let everyone know about the best softball team to ever grace the diamonds at Liberty Park. And by best, I mean a combination of funniest home videos, Bad News Bears, and the Artie Lange movie Beer League. We may not ever play a full 7 innings, but I challenge you to come to a game and not come away with some sense of enjoyment. With that said, Daddy goes out and mashes. For those of you keeping score at home, I'm hitting .857 right now. Just smoking the ball. Don't get me wrong, I love goin out and throwin in a fat chaw and broing out with some old school homeboys, but I'm also there to put up numbers. I'm more or less out there to have a good time and have a pop with some buds. I'm not "Softball Guy" by any means. I'm not serious enough that I'm going to get pissed if you miss the cut off, or into it enough to buy my own bat and spend more than $13 at Play It Again for some cleats. However, you better believe homeboy is getting his.

A brief season recap: We've been mercied 3/3 times. The competition in this league is stupid. People are out reliving the glory days and "Softball Guys" are everywhere.  If you're going yard in E league, chances are you have a  low-self esteem and a false sense of self-worth. Improvements are being made on a weekly basis. We're taking aim at not getting mercied this week. Next week we're playing a team that is somehow, someway below us in the standings. Hoping to squeak out a W. Now I know posting weekly updates on this team is probably a little much, so stay tuned. I'll be letting you know about our antics, potential self destruction, jump-fives, and any wins that come along the way, every once in a while. To quote the late*, great, Gordon Bombay "Keep swinging . . . maybe they'll catch a cold."   

* Gordon Bombay is dead by now right? Aren't all self-loathing, semi-pro athletes-turned-lawyers a ticking time bomb? I think him going out early adds to his legacy, so I'm gonna go with that scenario. 

      

Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino’s Dad is Just As Big… - BroBible.com

Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino’s Dad is Just As Big… - BroBible.com

Where you at whodie?

Drop And Gimme 50 - 10th Ward Buck by WTA

R.I.P M-Bone

Los Angeles (CNN) -- Rapper M-Bone of the group Cali Swag District died Sunday night in what police said was a drive-by shooting in his hometown, Inglewood, California. M-Bone, whose real name was Montae Talbert, was sitting in a car in the 400 block of North LaBrea Avenue when a car pulled up next to his and someone fired two rounds that struck the rapper in his head, Inglewood Police Lt. Steve Overly said Monday. Talbert, 22, died later at a hospital, Overly said. Preliminary reports on the model of car that was involved have not been confirmed, he said.

Another one gone too soon and before his time.

On behalf of The Coalition: This Dougie's for you...

Yes...The Bros Are Fantasy Football "Guys"

by Jacob Allen
Dear Coalition Of Fantasy Ballers,

Championship Round

Every fall a few of the bros, myself, and a few other   friends and family compete in what is becoming a serious fantasy football league.  Staying true to my roots, as commish, I chose Detroit, MI CCY as the name of this league.    This embodies how all of us feel at D Town Bro Co.  Like Eminem on "Recovery"...or Ma$e on "Welcome Back"...each and every year I believe that the city of Detroit is going to storm ferociously back.  Why can't we?  The Tigers came back after a lifetime of sucking.  The Pistons came back from the damn teal horsie jerseys...and they won a title.  The Lions seem to have come back or at least started coming back.  The Red Wings dont need to come back...but even the mighty winged wheel managed to come back from being down 0-3 to force game 7.  (No...we are not going to talk about that game)  This year is not unlike any other.  Detroit is making a comeback.  Believe me or dont...i really dont care, but the writing is on the wall.


So onto our league.  I am without a doubt "Stat Geek".  I have already begun doing extensive research on next years draft...and yahoo wont even let me open the league because its too early.  Enough said.  I am also the guy that fell head over heels in love with Peyton Hillis because I got him on the waiver wire week 1.  Our league has a mix of all the other "guys".  Let me briefly outline who these guys are.  This will include current and past members of the league.

   The Jerk


   The Stat Geek


   The Wing It Guy


   The Drunk Guy

The Stat Geek:  King of the Hillis (Me or Snake to the Bros)


King of the Hillis:  Plans 5 months in advance.  Writes fantasy football posts on his blog in early May.  Strategicly negotiates trade partners in early May.  Already knows his top 12 picks so he wont be surprised with his draft position.  Total STAT GEEK.  Completely obsessed.  I win or find myself in contention in any fantasy league in any sport I am in.  This is a product of my lack of a life and total obsession with digital domination.  Sad...at best.

The Jerk:  Mandigo (Matt Waz) & Winners Win (Lucas Allen) in a 2 way tie


Mandingo:  Refuses to trade Vick all season yet has Drew Brees on his team and we can only start 1 QB.  Total JERK.  Same guy that was egging me into forming some sort of secret alliance with him all season long because he wanted to make sure he at least got a little piece of the pie.  I think the last time he proposed this offer to me i was 13-2.  Week before the playoffs.  Again, Total Jerk

Winners Win:  Drafts Ryan Matthews and Shonn Green with his first 2 picks.  Then boldly claims that neither me nor anybody else knew anything because he is sweet at fantasy and doesn't think he needs to prove it.  Hes the guy that desperately needed to make a trade to save his season but turned down an offer of Peyton Hillis for Jason Snelling week 4 because, "Jacob...you don't know shit.  Jerome Harrison is the guy in Cleveland.  Trust me".  The only chance he had to save his season was trading his QB, Brady, but would not make the move unless the manager on the other end of the trade was willing to deal back his #1 RB and #1 WR in return.  Well played little brother.  Fast forward.   He ended up backing his bold draft and bold statements with a convincing 11 of 12 place finish.  I guess winners do win the last game of the year to see who finishes dead last and who squeaks into the 11 spot.  Round of applause.

The Wing It Guy: Little Giants (Thomas Paci) *easiest guy to identify*

200+ yards and 4 TD's Later

I've Spotted the Sucker

Little Giants:  Signs up for the league 2 days before the draft and only found an open spot because of a VERY late drop.  He confidently decides to come to the live draft with us (knowing full well he was in way over his head), sits next to me, and starts off decent by picking Peyton Manning with lets say the 10th overall pick.  Then it all goes south.  He proceeds with his next move; which is to select Beanie Wells 15 overall and quickly and severely loses his shit.  The entire league crucifies the pick...which causes Tom to admit to me in no more than a subtle (for my ears only) whisper, "This is my first time.  I have no clue whatsoever what im doing."  Looking back I wish that I had said this, "Tom....you really don't need to whisper.  You just picked Beanie Wells with the 15th overall pick.  The secrets out."   But as his friend and life encompassing mentor I did the right thing.  Which apparently was me drafting his entire team for him..."yada yada yada".  Needless to say I walked away from that draft telling myself and any others that would hear me, "Tom is the mark...and hes been the mark since day 1."  Tom if you are just now finding this out I am sorry.  It is like Mike McDermott (Matt Damon) said in Rounders, "Listen, here's the thing, if you can't spot the sucker in your first half hour at the table, then you are the sucker".  I'm willing to say that out of 14 regular season weeks....I had to set Paci's lineup 8 or 9 times.  Just wingin' it from start to finish.  Paci ended up finishing in the money...3rd place, but for every "wing it guy" you have a makes decisions for "wing it guy" guy.  Tom is getting no credit here and ive decided to reward myself with a pat on the back.  Somehow I finished #2 and #3 in the same year with only 1 team.  Weird.

On a side note, Beanie started the year off injured and did not manage to see Paci's starting roster 1 time all year long.  I will take a short break from my stat geek roll and play the jerk for a sentence or 2.  Great pick Tom.  You really hit a homer on that one.  

The Drunk Guy:  Mouse Trap (BroCo's Front Man Matt Netzel or MDotNetz)

Consolidation Round

Mouse Trap:  Matt overextended himself fantasy football wise this past year.  Fact.  He was in 5 leagues simultaneously.  Despite being a mainstay in Detroit MI CCY...Matt was probably burnt out on draft day.  I found him unable to log onto to the yahoo draft page which I cured with a simple cache clear.  It was almost as if Matt was lost before he even started his journey.  He was recovering from the year before in which he saw himself cruising towards the title...only to be derailed by a late season Ronnie Brown injury.  Shocking.  On draft day Matt could not dig deep and shift his focus to the fantasy draft from the Boise State v. Virginia Tech football game that was crankin on the B Dubs big screen.  Although Matt was not hammered at the draft....he was hammered when he revealed to our friend, and league champ Adi, information that he should not have leaked.  Mouse Trap took down the title of "I finished dead last" and for that I commend him.  I have faith that he will turn things around next year and again smell the aroma of success.


Heres a few other awards I am going to hand out:


The Loyalty First Guy:  P-U-N-K  (C-Bus to the Bros) 
The Holds On To Players Too Long Guy: P-U-N-K


P-U-N-K formerly known as He Hate Me & JayMariottisPimpHand:  Casual readers will not be able to relate to this but Chris took my side and my brothers side over others.  Chose right over wrong.  He was rewarded with a Vick for Cutler straight up trade at the end of the season that eventually put him in the playoffs.  I did take advantage of him when he was acting like the Holds On To Players Too Long Guy.  In this instance he held on to Brett Favre way way too long and I took advantage of him in one of the most vulnerable spots.  Halftime of a monday night game in which Sexty Brettzky had like -4 points at halftime.  This was the same game he got Randy Moss.  The same game Chris probably thought was going to put Favre back on the map.  A quick text offering him Jay Cutler straight up for Megatron as the first half came to and end was executed before the ball was kicked off to start half #2.  Brett went on to throw about 3 TDs in the second.  Chris loves to finish around 3rd or 4th every year.  He doesn't win...but hes always in the playoffs and its just a matter of time before he takes one down.

Best Team Ever Assembled, But First Losers

The Wow Your'e Cocky Guy:  King of the Hillis  (Me)


King of the Hillis:  See Image.  This was my Christmas card sent out to the members in the league.  Thats a combination of the Stat Geek being the I Know Photoshop Guy being the Wow Your'e Cocky Guy.




The Best Team Name Guy:  Nerd Alert  (Jeff Cherritt...a.k.a. Big Cuz)
The Best Spot Start Guy:  Nerd Alert
The How Does He Keep Winning? Guy:  Nerd Alert


Nerd Alert:  I firmly believe that Jeff spends loads of time picking out names of his teams.  Whether he does or doesn't one thing is true.  He sticks to them through the thick and thin.  Heres a rundown on team names in the last 3 leagues I've been in with him.

Detroit MI CCY - Nerd Alert  9/10
The Association - Lunch Eaters 10/10
Fear the Schlong's Reality - Doc Givers 8.5/10

Just solid fantasy gold.  His team names year in and year out rival a Mariano Riviera cut fastball.

His spot start of the year came week 7 when he played me.  I was 6-0 and he was 5-1.  #1 v. #2.  I will always remember it as the day I got "Britted".   He was decimated with bye weeks and as you can probably guess he snatched Kenny Britt off of waivers...this was before Kenny Britt had done a single thing all year.  Britt went on to drop 40+ on me and in an unexpected whirlwind of Britt my dreams of running a train on everybody else every week and finishing with an undefeated season were dashed.  Impossible as it sounds...anybody in the know would say that I did have a very real shot.  My 2 losses came to Vick and his 57 Monday night points the same week I traded him to C-Bus as a favor, and to Kenny FREAKING Britt and his career break out game.  I hate it.  That day Jeff came to visit.  We sat next to each other and what started out as 2 adults acting like giddy excited children ended in almost silence.  I was sour for weeks but no argument possible at this point big cuz.  Great spot start.  Great win.  This kind of transitions right into Jeff's final designation...the How Does He Keep Winning? Guy.  These types of wins were his staple all year long.  Every week he had somebody step up out of nowhere.  That and he had Arian Foster.  I suppose that helped.  He finished the year heading into the playoffs with a record that would have been good enough to get the #2 seed had he been in the other division.  He lost early in the playoffs but fantasy playoffs are just dumb luck sometimes.  He'll do it again...and next fall I have no doubt that hell keep turning what seems like water into wine....week after week after week.  Jeff is a way above average fantasy baller and I thoroughly enjoy playing any fantasy league with him.  A total top bro top to bottom.

The Puck Wont Bounce My Way Guy:  SnakeKillers  (Ryan Griffin)


SnakeKillers:  First off Ryan was a fantasy football rookie, but as a rookie played a tremendous season.  He would make good smart moves only to find himself running into the top point scorer of the week.  Every week he would do the right thing.  He would start the right players.  He would grab the right waivers.  And every week he would lose his match up due to crazy gypsy magic circumstances.  Ive never seen the fantasy gods or some type of voodoo magic shaft a team harder than they shafted his all season long .  A perfect example of this is around week 10 we played each other and he ended up losing by something like 2 points on a last second defensive touchdown by my NYJ D.  At one time SnakeKillers appeared a sure thing to make the playoffs, but eventually ended up missing.  With 6 playoff spots available SnakeKillers headed into week 15 as the 7 seed on a total points tiebreaker.  True to form.  Ryan...the future is bright keep plugging along.


The No Add, No Trade, No Move Guy:  Kiss The Baby (Adi Dalvi)
The Champion Guy:  Kiss The Baby


Kiss The Baby:  What can I say?  He drafted the same team he played with the entire year...and then took me down in the finals.  No more than 4 total transactions the entire year.  The photo to the right shows the extent in which I bent him over in a late regular season match up, only to have him re bend me and return the favor in the finals.  I am just getting over hating him for it...but a congrats is in store.  You may not have deserved it, but you did get it.



So as fantasy football season draws closer I will be raining posts on the comings and goings of the Bro's league.  I will be providing updates as to the status of Detroit and how its making a run at this CCY trophy.  And I will share as much of my Stat Geek inside information as I deem appropriate.


Love,

Your Commish Snake